There was a time where I literally shed tears over the thought of never having a Hershey bar or eating Costco cheesecake again. I was so upset and I’m agony about how unfair it was that I couldn’t seem to eat those things without losing control or suffering consequences. I really didn’t understand that it was more than just about my weight.
I had such an irrational fear of giving up certain “foods” even though those things were clearly causing me physical and mental harm. I was in bondage to Hershey bars – they controlled me! It seems so silly to say that, but that’s exactly what was going on. These foods were the boss of me. I was enslaved and I literally believed that my life would not be fun without them. Oh how wrong I was!!
It wasn’t until I accepted they couldn’t be a part of my life and I gave them up and let them go that I found true freedom. Those things no longer hold appeal for me. I don’t want them, I don’t miss them, and I don’t care if I never taste them again because they don’t taste as good as the freedom that I am enjoying now!
Freedom is not “all things in moderation“ that is a lie from the pit of eating disorder hell. Moderation attempts were prison for me. Trying to stay within the confines of asinine boundaries I was unable to keep was torture.
Doing the thing I was afraid of doing is finally what set me free.