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Look Back, Don’t Go Back

Daily I am faced with a choice.

Do I stay food sober or do I give in to the whims of ED?

For me the answer is obvious. I don’t ever want to be the woman on the left again. I don’t hate that woman on the left because she was strong and smart enough to put me on the path to where I am now, but I don’t want to live like her ever again.

When it comes to choosing between food sobriety or temporary satisfaction I only need to ask myself some questions before making an eating decision:

*Do I want to be in pain again?

*Do I want to get winded walking 20 feet?

*Do I want to stress about sitting in flimsy chairs or chairs with arms?

*Do I want my boobs resting on the table when seated in a booth at a restaurant?

*Do I want to be back on medication for high blood pressure, diabetes, asthma and allergies?

*Do I want to live a double life where I try to eat normal in front of other people but binge eat in secret?

*Do I want to have to use the seatbelt extender on a flight? Do I want to return to painfully swelled feet and ankles when traveling?

*Do I want to get out of breath bending over to tie my shoes?

*Do I want to wear ugly shoes because they’re the only ones that are comfortable and fit? 😂😂 But seriously.

No. No Is the answer to every last one of those questions. No food or temporary pleasure will make me return to that life of overall misery.

Don’t get me wrong, there were happy times with my family, friends, but it was all tainted. There was always a dark cloud over my spirit because I was unhealthy, unhappy, in pain, depressed and my smile was a mask that I wore. Today I live a life that’s food sober, where I am generally comfortable in my skin, free of the burden of health problems and I truly enjoy life. I wouldn’t trade it for any “cheat” meal or a day off to “live a little.” It’s just not worth it.

I am not one of those coaches who has never walked the walk that you walk. I am not someone who is going to tell you when you say you struggle with binge eating, “You can eat anything you want in moderation, don’t restrict yourself“ because I know the hell and the truth a Food Addiction and people that don’t are not equipped to help someone out of that pit. I know and understand where you are and I have not forgotten where I come from.

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