More Than A Number
I’m learning this. This journey has taught me so much. 6 1/2 years ago I was all about hitting some magical number on the scale and on the tag in my pants. It drove me.
Now I care much less about those things (although I will be honest and admit that I am not completely over the clothing size thing-it’s still gets to me at times-I was plus size for so long that it IS exciting to have smaller numbers in my clothes) and I try to keep the focus on how I feel and my health markers. Don’t get me wrong I still very much care about how I look and I love to dress in things that I feel good in. However, the difference is my “ideal“ that was in my head 6 1/2 years ago is not the same today. I used to want to be “skinny” And I thought that “skinny” was the holy Grail. Now, I’m not looking to be skinny, I’m looking to be healthy, curvy, and strong and reveling in the excitement of my daily pursuit to be the best I can be.
I very rarely allow myself to go down the road of comparison anymore. I shut that down as soon as it starts to happen because the only person I need to compare myself to is the person I was yesterday. As long as I get up every day and put one foot in front of the other and give it everything I can that day, then I can go to bed at night feeling confident I did my best.
I am more than a number on the scale, more than the number on the tag in my pants, more than an ideal BMI - those things do not define me.