No More Coffee for Me
Today was the last day I’ve had coffee.
Something finally snapped in me today and I realized that me and coffee needed to break up.
I’ve had all sorts of reasons and excuses to not give it up and it’s been a very emotional process so I thought I would share what that looks like.
I’m going on seven years food sober and I’m still peeling back layers of my sobriety year after year and today the coffee layer was peeled back.
I haven’t given it up so far because:
-it’s been a morning ritual
-it’s been a “reward“ after my workouts
-I like the buying experience and how the people at the coffee shop know me by name and they know my order
-I like the excitement of trying different flavored coffees and brands
-I love my collection of coffee mugs
-I love sharing coffee memes and tagging my coffee loving friends
So, when I say I’ve quit coffee and I literally cry about it, it’s not simply coffee that I’m giving up, it’s everything on that list above. I’m going to grieve not having that morning ritual, I’m going to grieve the after work out coffee, I’m going to grieve the friendly service at the coffee shop, I’m going to grieve the excitement of trying different coffee flavors and brands, I’m going to grieve using my coffee mugs, and I’m going to grieve sharing the coffee memes because I will no longer be a coffee drinker.
The reasons I’m quitting coffee are:
-I don’t know definitively one way or the other whether it’s good or bad for me
-it has an emotional hold on me and no longer brings me joy
-it stains my teeth
-it costs me a good amount of money
-it could possibly be disrupting my sleep quality
I know some people reading this won’t understand the emotion I’m feeling, but I also know several of you will. This is the same kind of process I went through when giving up sugar and grains. There was a grieving process of not just the food itself but all the emotions, experiences, and rituals that went with them. The bottom line is if something is no longer serving me well, it has to go. I know it will eventually feel better and my sadness is temporary.
Of everything on the list, I do have a solution to my mug situation. I can use them to drink water, I can use them to hold pens or markers, I could regift them to friends who would enjoy them, or I could simply display them because I like looking at them.
I can’t wait to see what benefits I’ll reap from taking this step and I’m curious what’s next for me on this journey.