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The Voice of Sabotage

I only have a handful of before pictures because I avoided the camera whenever possible.

I have a couple of before pictures that I took myself in the mirror and I use the one on the left most often because that was the day I finally got serious. I didn’t know when I took the picture that it would lead to today because there were so many other days where I was “serious” and it all fell apart by evening.

Have you been there? Do you wake up every morning with resolve that today is the day? Oh how many days I woke up like that and “blew it” by noon. Some days I made it till evening and there were even times where I’ve made it several days, a couple of weeks or even a couple of months with some weight loss to show for it. However, my mind wasn’t right so I ultimately ended up back on the left with a little more to show for my efforts.

The Food Addiction roller coaster is a vicious ride. Over and over again I used food compulsively without any regard for the consequences. I always thought I had no willpower, that I must just be lazy, that I needed to just make it 21 days to grasp a new healthy habit.

None of those things were the issue-the issue was I have an eating disorder. The voice of sabotage took up residence in my head at a very young age and I wasn’t able to evict him until 7 years ago at age 42.

The voice of sabotage- “ED” as many recovering from eating disorders call that voice - says things like:

“You already blew it today you may as well just eat and start over again tomorrow.”

“You had a hard day, you deserve a treat!“

“It’s your birthday! Are you really not going to have cake on your birthday?“

“If you just finish off all the ice cream tonight there won’t be any left tomorrow for you to binge on and you can start over!”

“Accept it, you’re doomed to stay fat! Just quit all this dieting nonsense, eat what you like, and enjoy life.”

Do any of those sound familiar to you? That is the voice of sabotage and he/she does not have our best interest in mind.

No diet, not even keto, can save us if we don’t get our minds right and evict the voice of sabotage.

#edwarrior #eatingdisorderrecovery #beforeandafter #mindset #edrecovery #bingeeating

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